you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Alive.
So much puke
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
