who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
