my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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