life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
