PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
