My cat gives me a boner
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We are two peas in an std pod
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
