he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
