girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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