FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
