I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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