I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
