my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
