After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Everything about him screamed your future.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
