What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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