You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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