so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
