My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
