I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
