grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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