he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
