i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
