Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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