I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
