just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
