Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i may or may not be watching the land before time
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
