That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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