I think i peed on brittanys purse
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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