She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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