i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
