What a fucking waste of an outfit
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
