I smell stomach acid.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
