just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
