I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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