highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
