Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
