never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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