Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You know, be my cock's hype man.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
