I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I think my fart just growled at me.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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