my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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