school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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