Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
