I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
