kristin has been a bad kristin
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
