Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
