Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
