Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
