The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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