Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
