problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
