I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
