I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
